Year of launch Vasa: 1628 HMCS Kingston: 1995 Advantage: HMCS Kingston Total length Vasa: 69 m HMCS Kingston: 55.3 m Advantage: Vasa Armament Vasa: 64 x smooth bore 24 pounders (say roughly 200 mm) HMCS Kingston: 1 x Bofors 40 mm gun, 2 x .50 cal Advantage: Vasa Crew Vasa: 133 all ranks HMCS Kingston: 35 all ranks Advantage: Vasa Range Vasa: Wind powered. Unlimited. HMCS Kingston: 5000 nautical miles Advantage: Vasa Displacement Vasa: 1210 tons HMCS Kingston: 934 tons Advantage: Vasa Look, I'm not drawing any conclusions here. All's I am saying is - if I were HMCS Kingston, I wouldn't want to meet the Vasa in a dark alley. 'Cause a 350 year old ship would stand a good chance of totally kicking my ass.
Well, this post is coming at you from a cafe in Stockholm, where I took a layover of a couple of hours in order to see the city a bit.
I am off to the Vasa museum now to see the only remaining 17th century warship still in existance on the planet. It is quite famous, because on its aft deck it has one of the earliest known and best preserved examples of Sea King landing pads.
Seriously, though, the Vasa was the largest and most expensive warship of her day, and sank a couple of minutes after being launched when water flooded through the gun ports. Oops. The story I want to hear is: what happened to the engineer who designed those gun ports? You have to think that sinking the biggest warship in the world because you misplaced a decimal has got to be a bit embarrassing.
I bet he ended up in the New World, designing highway overpasses for the Quebec government.
Just a heads-up, blogging will probably be sporadic for the next week. I have to go back to Canada for an army conference, and I really don't know how much internet access I will have.
In other news, I am sick with a delightful upper respiratory tract illness, just in time to jump onboard an intercontinental flight and infect hundreds of other people. On the upside, I no longer have to be paranoid about catching anything on the flight.
As for the title of this post, well, for those of you who were not on the RMC biathlon team in the mid-1990's, lets just say that it is a phrase I still have yet to live down. Ask me about it sometime.
One of the nice things about being in Europe is that I get to hear the overnight CBC broadcasts at a reasonable hour. When I wake up here in Sweden, it is 2 am back home. They often broadcast international stuff, like BBC international and Netherlands international.
I didn't know before moving here that CBC always broadcasts the national anthem at 5:55 am Central time, just before the daily morning broadcasts begin. I think this is great and bit surprising. It smacks of patriotism, something the CBC generally seems to avoid. What I don't like, however, is that a couple of bars into the anthem, they fade it to the background and a CBC talking head starts giving the details of the upcoming CBC broadcast. In effect, they turn the anthem into background elevator muzak. It just seems a bit disrespectful.
Yesterday I regretted not bringing my camera with me during my morning run, so I made up for it today. Here are some photos of where I go to run (notice the snow!). My apartment is about 200m from the final photo, which shows Gammlia. This is a restored living-museum, kind of like Upper Canada village except it is fully integrated into the town of Umeå and is regularly used for community events. The other photos are in the park just beyond Gammlia. It is probably about 3-5 square kilometers and the trails in the photos were used in a World Cup two years ago.
Sadly, since I have army obligations next week, today I will have to get my hair cut and trim my sideburns. I have tenderly cultivated my 'burns for almost 2 months now. Sigh.
I don't expect that many of you follow Swedish politics. At least, those of you who have a life.
So here is a quick update: Since the new government took power 2 weeks ago, 2 ministers have resigned their positions because of embarrassing and damning activities in their past.
This is the point where I started getting interested. Ministers resigning? "Wow", I thought, "finally we get some real dirt on the underbelly of Swedish politics."
What are the despicable deeds that forced two ministers to resign and is coming close to bringing down the government?
1) The minister of culture didn't pay her TV license - a couple of hundred bucks
2) Both ministers paid foreign nannys without withholding tax. Again, a couple of thousand bucks, maximum.
So, two Swedish ministers have lost their jobs and disappeared over a couple of thousand dollars, no criminal activity and all within 10 days.
Meanwhile in Canada, the $250 000 000 sponsorship scandal brought down one single minister - Alfonso Gagliano - who, incidentally, has been reported to have strong ties to the Mafia.
The billion dollar cost overruns of the gun registry have had no consequences at all, other than being a minor factor in the Liberal party losing the last election.
At first I was inclined to regard this Swedish situation as something of a joke. But now I am inclined to think of it as a sign of a profoundly decent society. If such relatively minor acts have such dramatic consequences, one can't help but feel that this is a nation in which serious corruption is not only unthinkable, but impossible. That is the kind of place I wouldn't mind calling home.
Mon aviseur était arrêté hier soir pour la vitesse. La limite sur les autoroutes est 110 km/hr et il faisait 118 km/hr.
Sur le 40 entre Québec - Trois Rivières, 118 km/hr n'est rien extraordinaire. J'ai une source (qui va rester anonyme) dans la Sûreté du Québec qui m'avais déja dit que mois que 130 ne vaut même pas être arrêté.
Ici, 118 (8 km/hr plus que la limite) te donnes une amende de 1500 Couronnes suédois. C'est autours $230.00. 20 km/hr plus que la limite et l'amende est doublé. 30 km/hr plus et tu perds ton permis de conduire. Et apparement, les avertissements sont inconnu ici. Quand tu es arrêté, tu as un amende.
Mes amis les professeurs de l'université de Colombie Britannique partent d'ici jeudi, et ils me laissent leur auto pour l'hiver.
Avec les amendes comme ça, et mes habitudes de conduire à Québec, je devrais faire faillite endans 2 semaines.
I have been to a couple parties where folks got real excited over drinking songs. I noticed the same one came up a couple of times to great hilarity, so I asked a friend for a translation. He just e-mailed it to me, and I had to share it. Because it is retarded. Skål!
Hell and gore Chung hop father Allen Allan lay Hell and gore Chung hop father Allan lay
Oh handsome inter hell an tar Hand hell inter half an four Hell and gore ! (at this point you chug whatever you are holding) Chung hop father Allen lay
What the hell is that all about? At least English and French drinking songs make some kind of sense.
Very bizarre. Proof again that Swedes can't hold their liquor.
60 km double pole workout on rollerskis in just over 4 hours.
The best thing about workouts like this is the feeling you have when you get home. You are just a spent flashbulb, and it is all you can do to feed yourself and crawl into bed to nap. The weather was awesome today for a change, which really helped my morale. It is so hard to motivate myself to go for a 3 hour plus workout in the pouring rain.
I ate 2 bananas, 3 powerbars, 2 gels, a recovery shake, and drank 2 litres of water. When I got home I ate an entire lasagna by myself.
Here is what I just don't get: how is it that a country that is so left-leaning in their politics, that has some of the most far-reaching social systems in the world and that generally measures merit by benefit to the group rather than the individual, how is it that this country is so overwhelmingly passionate about an individual sport like cross country skiing?
On the other hand, in North America where policy and general attitude place more emphasis on the individual, people get excited about team sports.
I guess it may have something to do with Sweden's close ties to nature and the forest - any sport which emphasizes getting outside will be well loved. Orienteering also obviously fits this category.
Still, an interesting paradox, I think. I was thinking about this while watching old clips from the Vasaloppet and being amazed at both the participant and the spectator turn out for that event. Apparently, the day of the Vasaloppet, there is non-stop commercial free coverage on TV from the start to the finish - over 4 hours of coverage. Not even the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs gets that kind of treatment.
Bon, enfin j'ai du m'achêter un vélo, parce que j'ai du retourner celle de mon ami Håkon la semain passé. Mais après un mois ici, je savais ce que je voulais. Il y a plusieurs monde qui ont des vieux vélos de l'armée. Ils sont quasi indéstructible. On dirais c'est la technologie de 1920. Une vitesse, un frein de tambour (!) en avant, un pompe intégré dans la rack en arrière, lumière en avant et en arrière alimenté par un generateur attaché au roue avant, et un selle fait en cuir (avec les ressorts). Le mien doit péser presque 50 livres, sinon plus. Quand je descends les côtes, j'ai l'impression d'être assis sur un char d'assaut. L'acceleration est tellement lent, mais les petits animaux sont mieux de pas se trouver en avant moi, parce que il n'y a pas grande choses qui va l'arreter, certainement pas un suisse (ou un chat. Ou une vache...) C'est possible que la frame est fait en fonte solide. Pas un joke.
Alors, Charles, je crois que tu as l'avantage maintenant pour notre petit pari. Ça prendrai un miracle pour que je suis capable de pousser cette vélo sous 10 minutes sur ma parcours.
I have no intention of turning this blog into a forum for my political beliefs. I read a few political blogs and unless the person writing them is really smart, they are really boring.
However, with the world a-fluster about the recent North Korean atomic firecracker, I thought it would be fun to direct you to this website: http://www.nk-news.net/index.php
It is a mirror of the North Korean official news agency KCNA, except it allows you to do fun searches and generate random insults from the Dear Leader himself (go to the Random Insults Generator on the left side of the screen). My favourite so far is
"You wicked beast, we will mercilessly crush you with the weapon of singlehearted unity"
Well, I finally started my Swedish lessons tonight. I am taking the Svensk För Invandrare course which polite people refer to as SFI and everyone else calls Swedish For Idiots.
Rightly so, because when I introduced myself to the guy sitting beside me, I made small talk by asking how long he had been in Sweden. Answer: 10 years.
Oh.
Dude, I am thinking that if you have been in this country - any country - for 10 years and you are still taking the beginners course for the local language, odds are that it probably won't be doing you any good anyhow.
So, here is some of the scintillating conversation I learned which will blow 'em away at my next black tie and champagne event :
Me: Hej! Jag heter Jeff. Vad heter du? Person B: Jeg heter "B". Varifrån kommer du? Me: Från Kanada och jag taler engelsk och franska. Person B Jaha! Vad går du hår? Me: Jag forskar. Person B: Hur länge stannar du i Umeå? Me: Ett år Person B Då kanske vi ses igen Me Det går vi säkert
As long as the person I talk to does not show any conversational initiative and change the script in the slightest, I am golden.
Well, I guess I was a bit misinformed about several things this weekend.
1) This competition, (www.25manna.nu) is the second biggest orienteering relay on the planet. Only Tiomila is bigger. There were 348 teams of 25 people each competing. A quick back of the envelope calculation gives 8700 racers.
2) The ride down to Stockholm in a bus does not take 6 hours as I had been led to believe. It takes closer to 10 hours if you include the 45 minute rest stop to eat in the middle. So I spent nearly 20 hours on a bus this weekend. On the upside, I got to see a lot of Swedish countryside and chat with interesting orienteers.
3) The guys I was running against on the last leg were, for the most part, running at World Cup / World Championship level. They are fast.
I was pretty happy with my performance. I certainly was not competitive with the other guys on my leg, but I put in a solid performance for where I feel I am at. No major ridiculous errors, and I ran quite smoothly for the full 8.8 km distance, doing it under 1:22. I probably could have gone a bit faster, but you have to remember I had 24 teammates who would not have been impressed if I had gotten lost or mispunched. So I chose to be a bit conservative and get the job done. Interestingly, I had one dude who followed me all the way around the course starting at control 2 right through to the end at control 19. So I was obviously not the suckiest guy out there. At the last control (see the photo below), I arrived with a group of about 5-6 other racers. You have to remember that we were 200 meters away from the finish. I stuck my SI card in the control and took off, but 10 m away realized I had not heard the little beep that tells you your punch had been electronically registered. Too many people were screaming too loudly. So I stopped, went back and re-punched just to be absolutely positive I didn't disqualify the team. That was probably the hardest part of that whole race, because I lost several positions right there. I made up a couple of positions in the sprint to the finish line, but I definitely lost 1 or 2 positions overall.
The weather really sucked. Saturday it just poured all day. With upwards of 10 000 people mucking around a field where the tent city went up, it quickly turned the ground to mush. It was really, really muddy. It was like the Woodstock of orienteering, without the drugs, mosh pit or Jefferson Airplane. People were getting naked and sliding around all over the place.
OK, I made that last bit up. Unfortunately.
The last control before the finish, where I had to punch twice
Still, despite the rain it was a lot of fun. Once I actually began orienteering, I had my first experience with what people call elephant trails - that is, trails that form spontaneously in the woods by 1000 people taking the same route over the course of the day. Obviously, these elephant trails are not on the map, which can mess you up if you don't pay attention. I also realized that the actual trails were often the worst route choice because they were so chewed up and muddy, it took way too much energy to run on them.
The way I figure it, one third of my readers will die laughing when they see this, one third will be offended and one third just won't get it. I am throwing it on here because 1) I find it ridiculously funny 2) the great cappucino reference and 3) It brings back great memories of RMC biathlon trips, back in the days when Beavis and Butthead were trendy
I am heading down to Stockholm this weekend to participate in a 25-man orienteering relay (assuming the mushrooms haven't killed me in my sleep). Blogging will probably be on hold until Monday. We leave by bus tomorrow at noon.
However, Monday I should have some good stories because my club has (for reasons that are beyond me), decided to put me last of the 25 people on my team. In other words, I am running the anchor leg which is also apparently the longest leg. My abysmal performances in training seem to be having no effect, they still insist on thinking I am reasonably good at this stuff.
The girl who hands off to me just placed 12th at the Swedish national championships in the middle distance event. This probably makes her one of the best 100 or so orienteers in the world. The guy running the first leg on my team had a top 10 performance at Jukola this year, which is one of the biggest orienteering events on the planet.
Mushrooms and jumping off bridges 'cause someone said so.
On Jörgen's insistence, I am going to give some wild mushrooms a go. Above is a photo of the two types of mushrooms I am about to chop up, sauté in butter then consume. Jörgen picked these and assures me they are both safe.
If someone finds me face down in my apartment in a pool of bloody vomit, please show the above photo to the poison control folks. Much appreciated.
Here are a few pics my friend Jörgen just sent me. They were taken last Friday when I went with him up to his experimental plot on a bogland north west of Umeå. He is just finishing his Ph.D. in some biology thingy that was over my head. Something about how much methane a bog produces, I think. Anyhow, the first pic is at the little hut that houses the computers and analytical equipment. The second is of me with a mother lode of färticka mushrooms which Jörgen claims are edible. I will stick to yummy cranberries and lingon berries, thanks.
In the first photo, the grassy looking areas are actually marsh. You sink up to your knee if you walk across it. Per Eloffsen the former World champion xc skier from Umeå was famous for running across this stuff during training. I had the misfortune of doing this once during an orienteering race. It is incredibly difficult. It feels like running with a coke machine strapped to each leg.
I can't make this stuff up, folks. Today is Swedish national cinnamon bun day. I have independently verified this with several people, so I doubt they are all pulling my leg.
Un chose que je trouve difficile est que quand tu demandes pour un rendezous ou n'importes quoi, ils te disent quelquechose comme " Je suis libre vendredi, semaine 36 ou lundi, semaine 37."
Quoi??
Les suédois n'utilisent pas les dates, ils donnent les nombres a toutes les semaines de l'année. Donc, 1 janvier - 7 janvier est semaine 1, 8 jan - 14 jan est semaine 2 etc etc.
Mon agenda (Franklin) n'est pas faites pour ça! C'est très confusant.
This weekend went way faster than I expected. I was kind of hoping to get some work done, but that just didn't happen. Too much orienteering going on for that.
Saturday was the Vasterbotten sprint and night-o orienteering championships Vasterbotten is the province Umeå is in. I participated, and was fairly pleased with the results. Provincial orienteering races here are about the same level of competition as Canadian championships. Sprint orienteering is more of a running race than anything. It is technically easy, which means you have to run fast. I was 5 minutes behind the winner, he arrived in 19 minutes, and I got in in 24. However, I was assessed a 2 minute penalty for a technicality that was only explained in Swedish at the start and which therefore escaped me. Anyhow, it was not at all a bad race.
The night-o was 8.9 km, which is as long as most day time meets. I caved and bought a proper night-o headlamp, and holy smokes does it make a difference. You can actually see where you are going. I managed to get to control 12 before the batteries died and I had to bail out of the race after 2 hours in the woods. I was very pleased though because I was in contact with the map the whole time, which was a novel experience for me in night-o. Only one guy completed the full 8.9 km, so I was in good company - many other good orienteers failed to go the distance before their headlamps gave out.
Today I rollerskied 4.5 hours. I am rather tired. I skied 2 of those hours with my advisor, who impressed me mightily. He does not train much, but he managed 2 hours despite being quite cold and probably bonking (it rained all day today, and he did not bring any food). He looked pretty shaky at times, but not a word of complaint passed his lips. He was always cheerful and positive. I respect that much more than superfit prima donnas who are whiners. Not that I would name names.
Steve Cyr.
Whoops! Did I type that out loud?
Now I am tired and will go to sleep for oh, 14 or 15 hours I think.
